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January 30, 2004

Fun with EW

It’s the little pleasures that can make a week fine


  1. Holding magazine up to face, speaking in voice of whoever’s on the cover. For example, “Meow, I’m Halle Barry. Think I’m an overrated actress? I will distract you with my hot bod! Meow, meow.”

  2. Having this conversation with your husband at least once a week:










    Me:Hey, did you know Kate Hudson had her baby?
    Him: I know, she named it Ryder Russell Robinson.(Mock whistles like a referee.) “Illegal overuse of alliteration. 10 yards!”
    Me:But also, Ted Nugent. . .
    Him:I know, I know. He ripped his leg open with a chain saw.

    Pause





    Him:Omigod! I forgot to tell you, Natalie Imbruglia married that skinny Silverchair dude!
    Me:I know. I read that too. We both read that in EW. We have the exact same entertainment news in our respective brains. Why are we having this conversation?

  3. Getting fooled each week by one item on The Must List. Leading, for example, to my forcing AB to buy the new Hole single online, getting slapped slackjawed at its suckitude (Whistle! Foul! 10 yards!), and then reminiscing about the days when everyone wasn’t brainwashed into thinking Linda Perry is some sort of musical genius. I mean, doesn’t anyone remember Four Non Blondes?

  4. Taking two hours to leisurely peruse Dalton Ross’ two-to-four pages of pure genius, What to Watch. Home of the Lorenzo Lamas and Tara Reid Alerts.

  5. Keeping count of how many snarky comments about Tortoise appear in the Music section. To date: 5,367.

  6. Willfully ignoring the Stage section.

  7. Owen “HoYay” Gleiberman’s ability to spend 2/3 of a review on the sensuous contours of Keanu Reeves’ face.

  8. Trying to untangle Lisa Schwarzbaum’s inexplicably contorted sentence structure.

  9. The often hilariously-poor production values of the cover each week. Seriously, take a good look at the Halle Barry cover.

  10. One word: Mullendash.

January 30, 2004 |

Comments

upton

did you ever hear linda perry's solo stuff? 4NonBlondes might not have been all her...or all she had. i'm not saying you have to love pink or anything. "i'm just sayin'"

Posted by: upton | January 31, 2004 at 11:12 PM

sarahb

I seem to remember the last time we tried to have this discussion I ended up clearing out the bar at Enoch's with my over-ly loud and passionate opinions. I think we'll have to just leave this one at tomato, tomahto...

Posted by: sarahb | February 02, 2004 at 09:49 AM

upton

wow. now that i'm not a drunk anymore i get to have a year's worth of conversations again. i feel so young!

Posted by: upton | February 02, 2004 at 04:46 PM

upton

as in...i only vaguely remembered that we discussed it...not what anyone said.

Posted by: upton | February 02, 2004 at 04:46 PM

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